My Wordspace

A dumpster full of various musings over life, God, scripture, and any random thought that may fly by meanwhile. Comments welcome.

Stress-related illness.

Posted by Iszi on April 10, 2007

This sucks.

I’m not typically one prone to sickness in general.  In fact, I rarely even fall sick enough to call into work once a year.  I’m also not one that usually experiences any noticeable physiological reactions to emotional stress.  Most of the time, I just deal with the problem as I can, and move on when it’s done.  However, according to my body, this seems to be pushing my limits.

Nothing serious has come of it yet, but I’m already starting to feel waves of mild nausea any time my mind crosses over any of the issues that represent a current thorn in my side.  Maybe it’s being caused by a surge of adrenaline rushing through my veins as I fight the sudden urge to rip something apart.  I don’t know.

All I know is I’m so S.A.F.T. of this shit, and I just want to get it out of my way and move on with my life!  Why does the universe seem to be fighting to make that not happen?


Posted in Venting | Leave a Comment »


Posted by Iszi on April 10, 2007

God, I hate today.

I don’t know what the force is that has suddenly come against me in my life, but I’m starting to get pretty sick and tired of having to fight it.

Today started off as well as could be expected – or so I thought – with me waking up just a little later than I should (as usual) and getting ready for work.

Then, my wife tells me that she’s got some medical problems which we’ve known about for awhile, but which have apparently become more aggravated than usual and really should get checked out. We don’t have medical insurance, and we can’t afford a doctor. However, in the past we have always found one way or another of working around that or just been able to deal with things on our own. So far, I’m not sure if this is going to hold true for this case.

On the way to work. Gotta hurry, running a little late. Cruising along the highway, someone’s sneaking up behind me so I must be running a little slow. I pick it up, and by the time I realize there’s a motorcycle on the side of the road, the FHP officer on that ‘cycle has clocked me at over 80 MPH in a 65 zone. Just great. My third ticket in just as many vehicles (first was in a Crown Vic I used to own, second in my Mark VIII, this one in my step-dad’s Bonneville) and the one that would probably get me barred from driving my parents’ vehicles for a long time. I can’t afford to pay it of course. I really can’t much afford the points on my license which I am almost sure to get because I’ve already taken the driving class once in the past year. The officer tells me of a few options, and writes my ticket for an even 80 MPH which is worth 1 point less than if it was 1 MPH more. I may yet be able to negotiate another shot at the class, and perhaps some Community Service time instead of a fine, but that’s going to require a court appearance and even then it’s at the judge’s discretion.

My car’s still not fixed. Awhile ago (I’ve lost track of how long by now) my transmission stopped shifting into 3rd and 4th gear. So, any driving that I’ve had to do (which has been since avoided except for emergencies) has been with the car in 2nd gear, running high RPMs. Several things have delayed the repair of my vehicle so far:

  • Waiting on tax return to pay for new transmission. – Got tax return a few weeks later.
  • Finding new transmission. – Picked one up from an acquaintance not long after the taxes came in.
  • Finding someone to help with the work. – Found someone, was supposed to work on it the next weekend.
  • Finding someone else to help with the work. – Found someone (I’ll call him BS. Dunno if S is his last initial, but that’s what I’m in the mood to call him right now.) a couple weeks later. Got car to BS’s house, and started pulling things apart. Ran into a snag along the way, trying to figure out how to disconnect the driveshaft.
  • Finding out how to fix the snag. – Took a little time and exploring of the ‘net, but we’ve got some options.
  • Getting a hold of BS so we can work on my car some more. – Almost never returns phone calls. Rarely returns texts. Finally got a hold of him, but that was because he needed me to move my car from his driveway since his landlord had some roofers coming out to do work on his house.

I’m not sure, but I think the total elapsed period of all these delays has been 2-3 months now. I’m growing weary, and the guy that’s been giving me a ride to work meanwhile is also growing tired of it. In fact, he’s just as much as said that this would be the last week of it. So, I’m pretty much out of alternative transportation options.

Then BS texts me and tells me that he’s leaving town tomorrow for a week, and we won’t be able to work on the car in the too-near future. Furthermore, it seems his homeowner’s association has deemed it necessary to fine him $150 because his neighbors have complained about him doing car repairs (probably not just mine) in his driveway. So, I doubt that even upon his return he would be too willing to do anything but maybe help me put my car back together enough for it to be transportable, if that. So, not only am I out of alternative transportation options after this week, I’m also pretty dry on options for getting my car repaired.

So, I’m pretty well SAFT (That’s “Sick And Fucking Tired, for those who don’t have my dictionary of spontaneously-generated acronyms.) of dealing with today. I would just like to forget about everything that’s happened in my personal life for a few hours, and get on with my work. (Which in itself has also become a bit of a headache.) But of course, I can’t. My mind doesn’t quite work that way. I can let it go for maybe five minutes solid, tops. But then something comes into my thought process and I just want to start punching walls and breaking people’s necks all over again.


For fuck’s sake, can this world please find someone else to shit on now?!?!

Posted in Venting | 1 Comment »

Am I Speaking Another Language?

Posted by Iszi on March 22, 2007

I’m really getting tired of dealing with idiots.

Generally, I try to be careful about how I word things and express myself. Particularly when it’s going to be in writing, and especially when I’m at work. In communications with end-users, all it takes is one poorly-written e-mail from IT to create hours of cleanup work. With that in mind, I like to say I try to “idiot-proof” my e-mails.

But of course, once someone makes something “idiot-proof” someone else is bound to come up with a smarter idiot. Or – in my case – three.

Consider this quote from an e-mail I sent regarding an access change request that was not properly submitted.

Due to security policy and audit requirements, I cannot process requests for access simply based on “match to” criteria. There needs to be a specific list of roles outlined in any given request, which should be tailor-fit to meet the individual user’s access needs.

The e-mail goes on a little longer to describe the approval process for after the list of roles has been laid out, but those were the first two sentences in that message, and they were also the most pertinent to why I could not process the request.

Please, if I did something wrong here or was ambiguous in any way, somebody let me know because I obviously can’t figure out why I received the following replies from some of the people CCed on the e-mail:

(From the requester, to the Service Desk support person who had originally contacted me regarding the case.) –

Per our discussion this morning, I am forwarding you the email that I spoke of.
Could you please intercede on this matter and work on getting me the appropriate access?

(Reply to the above, from the Service Desk person. Names changed to protect identities.) –

It basically looks like Iszi and Joe Security are saying the same thing:

We need approval from your manager.
We need approval from John DataOwner (which we already have below)
Then that would be forwarded to ID Admin.

(Reply to that, from the requester.)

But all 3 steps below have been done. (including the email to ID Admin).
What’s the next step?

Yes, all three steps in the Service Desk person’s e-mail were done, but that’s not the problem! Did no one read the first two sentences of my e-mail?!?!

(From the person the requester wanted their access matched to, in reply to my original e-mail.) –

The reason I asked for the role to be copied from my ID, is that he will need it. If not, I would not have asked for it. Please duplicate his ID with the same roles I have set up

Finally, after re-sending my original e-mail – with font emphasis on the pertinent lines – and discussing the issue over the phone with several individuals separately, the request got re-submitted properly and everything fell in line.

Still, could somebody please tell me what I did wrong in the original e-mail? Why is it that three people couldn’t seem to get the message right?

Posted in IT, Venting, Work | Leave a Comment »

Bullrun – Overview

Posted by Iszi on March 14, 2007

Last night, I watched the premiere episode of Bullrun on SpikeTV. I’m usually not a big fan of reality shows, but when someone decides to send 12 teams in their high performance vehicles racing cross-country, I can’t help but watch. I’m glad to say that it looks to be a great series, and one that I hope is kept running for a good few years. Or, at least long enough to see the day when I can afford a shot at it. 😉 I’ll be posting more details and a review of this week’s episode after I get home. I’m going to try to make this a weekly thing, since this is one of the few shows that has caught my attention enough to actually mark on my calendar. (In my cell phone, with a reminder alarm 1 hour ahead, so I can’t miss it!)

A few comments on some of the aspects of the show in general:

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

Science Fiction becoming reality again!

Posted by Iszi on March 10, 2007

Okay, call me slow but my brain just now made this connection. I just find it interesting that when we in the real world developed hand-held computers, the name that we gave them ended up being not too far from the name given to the fictional hand-held devices in the Star Trek universe.

PADDs – or Personal Access Display Devices – are rather proliferate in the Star Trek universe, particularly starting in STNG and carrying on through DS9 and Voyager. I haven’ t seen much of Enterprise myself, but I’m sure they put them in there too, even though TOS didn’t show many if any of these devices.

While – according to Wikipedia – the (primitive and not at all physically similar) origins of today’s handheld devices pre-date the modern form of the PADD, the particular term we use most often to refer to them wasn’t coined until several years after the PADD made its debut.

So, PDAs are yet another science fiction dream come into reality. Does anyone else find it interesting that we only needed to take one letter off from “PADD” and flip the last two, to get there? After all, stranger things have made their way into the real world from sci-fi, and I’m sure I don’t have to give references for those.

Posted in Random Musings, Science Fiction | Leave a Comment »

“Not recommended for children under 12?”

Posted by Iszi on March 8, 2007

Okay, I just don’t get this.

I regularly drink XS Energy Drinks to keep me going at work during the day. I used to be a Full Throttle guy, but one day my mom said “Why are you spending your money on Full Throttle when I’ve got cases of this stuff at home?” So, I figured I’d help her get rid of it by drinking those twice a day now instead of my usual.

Then today I actually read the can. Normally, when I toss something down the hatch to keep me going I really don’t much care what’s in it, as long as it works and it’s legal. I was only really checking the can out ’cause I was bored at the moment and it was there. However, I got really bothered when I saw “4900%” RDV of B12 on the Nutrition Facts chart! That means that for the past couple weeks, I’ve been getting at least 98 times the recommended daily consumption of vitamin B12, five days a week!

This is almost more disconcerting than the one time I found out that caffeine overdose could lead to hallucinations! (Although if it weren’t for the stomach pump through the nose that would later be necessary, that might actually be fun!) So, I went around trying to look up whatever I could on the XS Energy Drink and Vitamin B12. This wasn’t too easy, since the XS website is blocked by my work proxy under the category “Unregulated Substances” or some other birdsplat, but Google and Wikipedia are great alternative resources. While I did not find anything particularly regarding Vitamin B12 overdose, I was able to pull up Wikipedia’s entry on XS which actually had something almost more disturbing to me than the issue I’d originally come to look up!

The article mostly references the XS website to back its content, so for one who has access to that (I’ll be checking when I get home.) it would be relatively easy to verify its claims. What bothers me is this: Near the end of the article it is mentioned, “The distributor does not recommend it for children under 12.”. That’s not so bad on it’s own, but not two sentences later it is said “According to the distributor, the drinks are packaged in 8.4 ounce (250ml) size cans because that size… can be more comfortably held by children.”

Seriously now, WTF?

Posted in Random Musings | 1 Comment »

Blinding Confusion

Posted by Iszi on February 27, 2007

Dazed and confused
blinded by the ruse
drowning in distraction
conviction surrounding me.

Questions unanswered
infecting like cancer
spinning with query
seeking what cannot be seen.

How did this start?
When will it end?
Will I ever know
my true meaning again?

So many desires
burning like fire
caged by my burdens
everything smothering me.

Searching for freedom
dreading the treason
straining to unravel
the mystery of deity.

How did this start?
When will it end?
Will I ever know
my true meaning again?

I just don’t understand
I wish I could comprehend
how I came to this place
or how I can be free…

Posted in My Lyrics/Poetry, Venting | 1 Comment »

Old news for Disciple, but still GREAT!

Posted by Iszi on February 22, 2007

So, I was going to the Disciple website to look up information on tickets to their Scars Remain tour and saw a couple great bits of news I wanted to

Scars Remain Tour / Game On on CBS
2007-02-05 17:17:18

We are two weeks in to the Scars Remain tour and the shows have been amazing. Thanks so much to everyone who has come out to the tour so far. Family Force 5 just joined us last night in Minneapolis and we look forward to having them with us for the rest of the tour. Fireflight and Decyfer Down have been a blast to work with, we have truly enjoyed their company. Joey has been making video tour journals of the last couple of weeks so be sure and check them out at They should also be up on the media section of this website very soon. Check out the rest of the Scars Remain tour dates on the Tour section. ‘Game On’ was featured on a commercial for the CBS show Criminal Minds. It was played after the Super Bowl episode and will replay a number of times over the next couple of days. Go to to watch the trailer for this Wednesday’s episode.

Game On!
2006-10-24 20:38:52

This is pretty cool! Yesterday, we officially locked in a deal to have the theme song for WWE’s next pay-per view event. WWE Cyber Sunday will be live on pay-per-view on November 5, 8 p.m. and will be in Cincinatti, OH. The song “Game On” from our new album Scars Remain will be played 5 times during this pay-per view event, and will be known as the theme song throughout the evening. Last night night on WWE RAW, on the USA Network, they gave a promo of “Game On” being the theme song and showed the album artwork and the release date while playing the song for about 60 seconds. This is by far the best promotion we have ever had! Last night aired in front over a million people. The WWE is not known for being a “Christian” tv show, and that is why this is such an awesome opportunity to be able to get our music in front of so many people. Our team is working very hard with this song and they have also been able to get “Game On” to air on ESPN’s NFL Live on Nov 1 and 2 during the plays of the month. It will also be heard during Fox Sport’s The Best D— Sports Show, the NFL Network’s Total Access show, and Speed TV’s Speed Report.

Of particular excitement to me, are the following excerpts:

“‘Game On’ was featured on a commercial for the CBS show Criminal Minds. It was played after the Super Bowl episode and will replay a number of times over the next couple of days…”

“WWE Cyber Sunday will be live on pay-per-view on November 5, 8 p.m. and will be in Cincinatti, OH. The song “Game On” from our new album Scars Remain will be played 5 times during this pay-per view event, and will be known as the theme song throughout the evening.”

And the real kicker, which I love…

“The WWE is not known for being a “Christian” tv show, and that is why this is such an awesome opportunity to be able to get our music in front of so many people.”

It’s amazing what God can do with our music when we put away the misconceptions that Christianity has brainwashed into us nof what “Godly music” should sound like. Rock on Disciple, and praise the Lord!

Posted in Christianity | 1 Comment »

I just can’t stand Service Desk stupidity!

Posted by Iszi on February 20, 2007

Working in IT, I get to deal with a lot of stupid stuff mostly due to user ignorance and/or laziness.  This is commonly known as PEBKAC and is generally accepted as part of the job.  So, in dealing with users I try to offer a bit of forgiveness whenever they say or do something that just doesn’t make sense in the given situation.  When the IT Service Desk exhibits user-level ignorance and moronishness however, that’s when I blow a gasket.  These people should know better.

In today’s example, a user is calling in to check on the status of a requested change to their SAP account.  SAP changes require a few approvals.  Firstly from the user’s manager, and second from the Data Owner in charge of whatever permissions the person is requesting.  If the request hasn’t yet been approved by the user’s manager, the Data Owners never see it.

In this particular case, the user’s request hasn’t been approved by their manager yet.  This is clearly visible on the online request form, and is also noted in a trouble ticket open from when the user previously called in to check on the status of his request.  After the manager approves the request, my approval will be needed for some basic display roles, and some other roles requested will need approval from another Data Owner.

Here’s a bit of my conversation with someone from the IT Service Desk (Referred to as ITSD) on the subject.   Names have been stripped and/or changed to protect identities:

ITSD says:

Iszi says:

ITSD says:
i have john doe on the phone, he wants to know when his SAP CMP role change is going to be done

Iszi says:
Last I checked, my answer was “When it is approved”.  Did you look at his ticket?

ITSD says:
yes smarty pants

Iszi says:
well what are you coming to me for?

ITSD says:
and ibecause it doesn’t have that you approved it yet

ITSD says:
that’s why

ITSD says:
never mind i will talk to (ITSD Manager) about

Iszi says:
It’s not MANAGER approved yet.

Iszi says:
I can’t approve anything until the user’s MANAGER has approved it.

ITSD says:
there is no need for you to get smart

ITSD says:
at all

Iszi says:
Not getting smart, getting defensive…

ITSD says:
well you don’t need to do it with me

What part of “not approved, I can’t do anything” is hard to understand?  It’s in the ticket, it’s on the form, why am I even hearing about it?  Sadly, this is not a rare occurrence.  All too often the ITSD (not this person most times) calls me with an issue, and it goes like this:  Me – “Did you check the ticket/form?”  ITSD – “Yes, and you said this in it…”  Me – “Does it look like there’s been any change in the situation on the user end?”  ITSD – “No”  Me – “Then why are you coming to me with this?!?!”  ITSD – “…”

Or worse:  Me – “Did you check the ticket/form?”  ITSD – “No”  Me – “Well all the info you need is in there, go look and then come to me with questions!”

This is just ridiculous, and I’m getting tired of it.

</end rant>

Posted in IT, Venting, Work | Leave a Comment »

Finally Updated Photoblog

Posted by Iszi on February 18, 2007

It’s been a little over 2 years now, but I’ve finally updated my Photoblog! There’s some more recent pictures of myself and Tiffani-Anne, updated tags, and I’ve also updated my WordPress Avatar with a crop-out of me from the February 2002 picture with my wife. Go check it out! The cuteness is irresistible!

Posted in Photoblog | 1 Comment »