My Wordspace

A dumpster full of various musings over life, God, scripture, and any random thought that may fly by meanwhile. Comments welcome.

Archive for September, 2007

God, Please Help Me Drive

Posted by Iszi on September 5, 2007

God, I need your help. Of course, I’ve always needed your help. But, I seem to be too stubborn or intentionally ignorant to bring myself to that truth. Or, even if I see the truth, I refuse to admit it. But now is one of those times I’m honestly crying out.

I know I could bargain with you forever – I could say “If you do this, I’ll love you and follow you for the rest of my life.” but there would be no point. Whether I am truly sincere or just think I’m sincere, or even don’t really mean it, you’ll know. Even if I am sincere, my will may not be strong enough to stand up to my words, and you’ll know.

I can’t offer anything in return, other than my love. By earthly standards, that is nothing. Even by your standards, my love (rather, the ways that I express – or don’t express – my love) is minimal. But, it is all I really have to offer.

So, I really have no angle here except that I’ve come to realize how broken I am, and I need fixing. I know you’re the only one that can completely fix me in any area, so I come to you for this now. Knowing that you are a gracious and loving god, I pray that you will hear me (I know, you will.) and that you will answer with the help that only you can provide.

With all of that off my chest, what I have come to ask you for is forgiveness.

Wow, that’s odd. But I suppose it’s right.

God, please forgive me for my stubbornness and foolishness. I can’t begin to know entirely what I’ve been doing, or why. I just know it’s been wrong, and I need you to forgive me for that. I need you to give me direction – clear direction – and help me to get right.

I suppose that is the root of my problems. I’m just not right, and I need you to fix that.

Thank you for your Son, and thank you for allowing us to come to you through knowing him. There is no measure to the value of that gift which you have given mankind.

Thank you for your Holy Spirit, and for the Spirit’s counsel. Without that, I could not have the peace that I feel you have given my heart now. Also without your Spirit, I would never have recognized the true root of my current dilemma.

I do look forward to more talks like this – preferably under better circumstances, of course. I just hope my heart can stay in tune, and that my will would follow. Please help me stay focused.

Thank you.

I love you.

Amen.

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