My Wordspace

A dumpster full of various musings over life, God, scripture, and any random thought that may fly by meanwhile. Comments welcome.


Posted by Iszi on January 23, 2007

I usually consider myself a pretty patient person when it comes to waiting on things and dealing with people. I mean, I’ll usually get inwardly aggravated and frustrated to one degree or another – often to the extent of expressing it to whomever will listen nearby – but usually when it comes to the person that I’m actually dealing with, I’m pretty cool. I usually try to give them their time to do whatever it is I need them to do, or try to give them some extra forgiveness as I attempt to get them to understand one thing or another.

Today though, that patience is gone. I don’t know exactly where it went, but all of a sudden my tolerance level for anything has dropped to nil. Someone tried to ask for a status update on some tasks which I’d only recently been given, and not had nearly sufficient time to even look at, and my first (internal) response to them was “Cease ye thou senseless drivel, lest I layeth my smack-down upon thee!”. The external response was slightly more courteous, but still to the same point. Where I would normally try to make some small show of apologetics and attempt to settle them down, I just flat said in short: “You’re not giving me enough time, and your expectations aren’t even consistent enough for me to understand what time you are giving me, so just back off and I’ll get to it when I can!”

Another instance, one guy asks me for an update on a case that he’s been asking me about for a good week or so. There’s really nothing I can do from my position right now, and I’m waiting on response from another company before I can do anything at all. He knows that already, so I told him to try contacting another group in our company that is more specialized for handling these types of cases. He says they told him there’s nothing they can do either, and wants to know if there’s any way I can force the other company into action. My response, summarized: “Well, if there was, wouldn’t the more specialized team have known this and possibly told you about it?”

Quite frankly, I don’t know what my damn problem is today, but I’m starting to get tired of dealing with it! Sure, I doubt the caffeine I’ve been taking lately (in the form of one daily dose of Starbucks Doubleshot, and occasionally another “energy drink”) hasn’t helped, but right now that’s about the only thing that can keep me going after lunchtime.

In the words of Bilbo Baggins:

“I need a holiday. A very long holiday. And I don’t expect I shall return. In fact I mean not to.”

Of course, if I were to take the 5 days of vacation time I still have left over from last year, I would probably come back. But by “vacation” I really mean a vacation from everything. Work, home, family, life, the whole shebang. I just want to get away where no one can find me for awhile and chill out. Get some time to shake the world off of me, and get refreshed.

I just want to get in my car, take nothing but the clothes on my back, and leave nothing behind but rubber and road. Then, when I get where I’m going, I don’t want to be bothered. I don’t want anyone to call me, talk to me, or even see me. I want to just spend some time somewhere that the whole world will just leave me the hell alone!

Maybe that’s an extreme end of my frustration, but that’s really what I’m feeling. Until then, back to the daily grind…


One Response to “Patience”

  1. ggwfung said

    too much work just kills the soul. We’ve got to remember what work really is – just an economic function, and income to take care of material needs.

    The beauty of life is in the intangibles, the free flight of the imagination, not the cage of an office.

    I too feel the burden at times.


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