My Wordspace

A dumpster full of various musings over life, God, scripture, and any random thought that may fly by meanwhile. Comments welcome.

Archive for August, 2005

"Word Verification"

Posted by Iszi on August 27, 2005

Well, turns out I had some “comment spam” dropped in here in my absence. In one post, I had 3 comments from “Anonymous” users, advertising their blogs about weddings, women’s shoes, and gambling. Fortunately, Blogger has now implemented (and I have now activated) optional “word verification” for comment posts. This means that, whenever you want to post a comment here, you will be presented with a random set of letter images, which you will have to verify for your comment to be posted. This is much like the verification process used in many registration forms. While it adds an extra step to the comment-posting process, it does prevent some (possibly) less pleasurable sites from having a software program just drop a link to themselves in this blog.

Nothing else real important to say here. Just wanted to give you guys (and gals) the heads-up.

– Iszi

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Where’s Something When You Want It?

Posted by Iszi on August 25, 2005

Seriously, where? Especially things that you should want more often, and should keep better track of, but typically don’t? In this case, such an object would be my One Year Bible. Given to me by my Cell Group leader, it is supposed to be a tool to help me keep up with regular Bible reading, but I haven’t used it quite that much lately. In fact, I maybe stuck with it for a solid week at most. But now, without any blogging material in mind, I was hoping that I could find some inspiration there, and yet I cannot find it at all.

Actually, gimme a few seconds… I will find this.

*sigh*
It’s sad the things you’ll find on your bedroom floor, when you let that become such a clutter zone as mine. Oh, and for the record, Diet Sprite Zero has (like all other Coca-Cola products) way too much carbonation. Unfortunately, it’s the only thing cold in the fridge right now.

Okay, let’s crack this thing open here. I guess technically it is the 25th now, so I’ll flip there. Ah, I have missed a good while. The last time I checked, the Old Testament study was still somewhere in Kings. Now, it’s a good deep bit into Job. It appears we’re somewhere in the dialogue between Job and his three friends who had come to visit him as he wallows in pain and self-pity, being tormented by Satan.

Bah, I can’t stand this Sprite. Almost done with it though; the quicker, the better.

Anyway, the way the One Year Bible (In case you don’t have one – which I highly recommend you do.) is laid out, you get a bit of OT, a bit of NT, and a Psalm and Proverb to read every day. I’ll just hyperlink the passages that it has laid out, and comment as things come to me.

So, first we have Job 16:1-19:29

Here’s something of interest. Now, it is said by some that the story of Job may just be more legend than literal truth. Nonetheless it is Scripture, and therefore known to be divinely inspired. So, in either case, we have written here the accounts of words of a servant of God, in Old Testament times. The fact that it was written many centuries BC is what particularly makes this piece interesting:

(Job 16:19-21 NIV – Job is speaking)
Even now my witness is in heaven; my advocate is on high. My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God as a man pleads for his friend.

Long before Mary and Joseph were around, perhaps even before the days of Abraham, Job is speaking of a heavenly intercessor standing in his defense, whom we now know as Jesus. Just one of the many instances in Old Testament scripture, where we see foreshadowing of the events meant to take place between 0 and 33 BC.

Bah, I’m getting tired now. Guess Job will do that to you at 4 in the morning. Let’s at least check out what Proverbs has to say today, before I go to bed. Ah, very good sense here indeed, as if any less was to be expected:

(Proverbs 22:1 NLT)
Choose a good reputation over great riches, for being held in high esteem is better than having silver or gold.

Also, please pardon the lack of the hyperlinks that I promised. I’ll fix that next time I log on here. Meanwhile, just check out http://www.biblegateway.com/ for all the verses.

Now to quote Red Skelton: “Good night, and God Bless.”

– Iszi

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Long-Winded?

Posted by Iszi on August 23, 2005

I’ve been told in the past that I tend to be a bit long-winded with posts such as the one below (just previous) this one. Yet, I personally almost never feel that I’ve completely expressed myself here. I always end up feeling like I’ve edited myself for length, like a director cuts a film sometimes.

I’d like some feedback on this. Although it won’t likely change anything (this is my blog, after all – if you don’t like it, you can leave. ;-)) but I am just curious to see what other bloggers think about this.

Thanks in advance for the feedback.

– Iszi

P.S.: If you’re a Blogger member, please do login before posting a reply. I see a few fellow bloggers replying here, but leaving little if any way for me to contact them for a direct reply since they are posting “Anonymous”-ly. Thanks again in advance.

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"Home" Again

Posted by Iszi on August 23, 2005

Well, I’m at my mom’s house right now. I’m here mostly at the bequest of my wife, whom I hadn’t seen in almost a week prior to coming over this time. We’re still not entirely moved in by any measure, and the room meant for us is still far from prepared, so we’re making our own space in the front living room for now, which is also to be ours anyway. (The house has a “Family Room” in the middle, and a “Living Room” in front, the latter of which my mother decided should be ours so we have our own living area outside the bedroom.)

I find myself with a strange feeling of coming home, yet not really being “at home”. Almost as if one has been out of school for a year or so, and then returned. Although I myself have never been through that, I can probably now imagine what it would be like. The school itself would be the same, with most of the same people still there, but there would be many more new faces to see than in the typical school-year changeover, and many more old faces gone. Possibly some of the decor may have changed, some extra/co-curricular programs discontinued or newly begun. So, although it is the same school, it’s not quite “your school” anymore.

I know this feeling will pass in time. Probably once we’re settled into our actual room, with everything firmly in its place, it will be easier. A piece of me feels like having my own computer here would be helpful too. (It’s still at my Aunt’s house. – This post is being made on my wife’s computer.)

It’s strange when I think about it that way. The saying goes “home is where the heart is”, and while my heart is with my family, a large part of it has been spilled online through a computer that I personally assembled in – and have personally cared for since – summer of 2000.

Odd. Now I also consider not having my bicycle is also a particular emotional hinderance here. Odd, yet it makes so much sense when I consider how I purchased both, and how much of my life has gone into both. Without going into much detail, I will say that there was a large sum of money given to me through my Grandmother when I was 18, and a large portion of that money went into the purchase for the parts to my computer, and the purchase of my bicycle and all the accessories added onto it at that time. They also represent (to my memory) the two largest purchases that I have ever made exclusively with my own money, paid upfront.

That being the monetary (physical) connection, the emotional connection comes when considering that a large portion of my life (as previously mentioned) has been lived out in the computer world, and another large portion of my life has been lived with that bicycle as my primary (or often-used alternative) form of transportation. So, to some degree, both represent to me a connection to independance and freedom.

Like anyone else, I feel rather confined when using someone else’s computer, even when it’s my wife’s. None of the software is in the right place, I have no bookmarks (as if I use them), I have to manually fill out password forms, and the security is never tight enough. Without my bicycle, I have no expedient means of going anywhere outside of a two-mile radius on my own. With it, I could easily go anywhere within about 15 miles in one hour, and farther if I was to connect with the bus system. And around this area, that covers a lot of places.

I guess to some degree, it could be said that it’s not good for me to feel such a strong “home” connection to a computer. To have that be “where your heart is” and be a Christian, is almost self-contradictory. Supposedly, I guess that kind of connection would better be placed in a Bible, or made in those “quiet times” that one should have every day.

Getting to that place though, is much harder than flipping some internal switch. My whole life I’ve known inside that that’s where I really should be, yet here I still am. What it is that’s keeping me here, a million psychiatrists and pastors could probably say, but the real question I want answered is, “What is it going to take to pull me out of here?”. The answer might not be pretty, but I hope it comes soon. While computers and the internet have played a heavy role in my life, I know that they can’t be my life forever. So, now that I know it, (as if I never have?) what needs to come to make me do it?

A part of me doesn’t, but a part of me really does want to find out soon.

– Iszi

Quote of the day:

“Wars come and go, but my soldiers stay eternal.” – Tupac

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"A [vision], which misinterpreted may have been…"

Posted by Iszi on August 21, 2005

Digging through my archives (a shallow dig, mind you) I noticed that my most recent post mentioned my preparation for my A+ Certification, and a vision of a new home for my family. Given that a lot has changed since then, I thought I should mention a couple things about that while I’m on here. (Yes, this could be another delaying tactic to keep me from that pile on the bed, but if I really cared I guess I wouldn’t be doing this now, would I?)

I received my A+ Certification on March 1 this year. That day, I just decided I was fed up with running through these practise tests, and wanted to get the real thing done and over with. Two tests that were scheduled to take a total of three hours took me all of an hour and a half to run through. When I came out of the testing room from the second test, the instructor that came to print my test scores was astounded that I’d finished both tests already. (The instructor who handled the first test, and got me started on the second, had left for the day, and the instructor who checked me out from the second test originally presumed I’d just finished the first.) They were also quite surprised that both my test scores were over 150 points above the passing requirements (on a 100-900 scale).

Unfortunately, this has done little for me in the job market. My lack of related work experience, coupled with my transportation limits has effectively nullified the value of my certification in my job hunt. So, for the past (almost) six months, I’ve had this certification and gone nowhere with it. This has also dampened my motivation to study for the Network+ exam that I had originally planned on taking by the end of this year.

So, without a better job lining up soon, I’m left having to move back into my mom’s house. Other contributing factors aside, this still leaves me wondering about the vision mentioned in my February post – the one about us being in a house of our own by the end of the year. While not entirely impossible, this has made it very much improbable. So, I took another look into that vision, and began to wonder if maybe I had just misread it. It is quite probable that I am meant to be at my mother’s house this year. And, when I think about it, I can’t imagine too many other places that I could be, and truly feel “at home” in by this Christmas. Maybe this is the way it is supposed to turn out, or maybe I could be wrong still. Only time will tell.

Speaking of time, It’s now almost 0530, and my wife is supposed to pick me up at 1200 to go back to my mom’s house for more moving work. So, I should go and clear off that bed if I want any chance at a nap.

Good night.

– Iszi

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The Real Me

Posted by Iszi on August 21, 2005

Okay, I give up.

My last update to this blog is listed as sometime in June, on my Blogger dashboard, but the most recent post is over 6 months old. I could go into a long spiel about why this is, but I’ll leave that to your vivid imagination.

Meanwhile, I’m left wondering what I’m going to actually do with my little (idle) corner of the web here. And I’ve decided. I’m giving up. Not giving up on maintaining this blog, mind you. Just giving up on keeping up appearances. One thing that may have been holding me back here is that I just don’t have that great positive feeling these days, that I would like to have when I write this blog. So, I’m giving up on bothering with that “happy feeling” style of writing.

If I write now, it’s just going to be me talking in whatever mood I may be in, about whatever may come to my mind. Otherwise, this blog could go dead for another year or more. Who knows, it just might be anyways. We’ll see.

Meanwhile, in life news: I’m moving again. Okay, not really “again” to you, since I have lived in the same house for the duration of this blog so far, but this will be the (counting…) fifth time I’ve moved in my life, and the third time I’ve gone back to the particular house that I’m moving into – my mom’s house.

A lot of factors are contributing to this, but all you should be aware of right now (or rather, all I have energy left to mention) is that if I don’t blog much in the next week or so (as if it would be different from any other recent time period) it can particularly be attributed to the moving process.

Now, I must go. I’ve got a large mass of schtuff that’s been just sitting on my bed, keeping me awake (since I’ve been too lazy to deal with it) for the past four hours. Hopefully, I’ll be able to pull myself back up into writing more on this soon. I really do want to, I just seem to have a hard time getting myself to do it (like I’ve been having a hard time getting myself to clear off my bed for the past four hours so I can go to sleep).

l8rz

– Iszi

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